


say cheese

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-15
Updated: 2010-07-15
Packaged: 2019-01-30 19:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12659592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Prompt: Cheese.





	say cheese

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

Sometimes Jin feels like he’s away at war. Military is a big deal over here, for obvious reasons, and it seems kind of insensitive to compare it to something as trivial as being half a world away from home, speaking an unfamiliar language in an unfamiliar place with the nagging fear of failing his country.

One thing he can relate to, if the movies are anything to go by, is the support of the people he loves. He doesn’t need to hear their voices or read their words of encouragement; just looking at their faces captured on his phone or on his laptop are good enough, seeing in their expressions their happiness and support because in addition to saying “chiisu,” there was the unspoken feeling of “this one’s for Jin.”

The pictures he loves the most are the ones with him in it, not because he’s vain – couldn’t be farther from the truth, really, as he often avoids looking at his own face at all costs – but because of the atmosphere surrounding them. With a few drunken exceptions, he remembers what he was feeling at the exact moment the shutter clicked, how it felt to have A-kun’s arm around his shoulders or B-kun’s peace sign in his face, C-chan’s baby in his arms or D-san’s hand shaking his. There were countless pictures of him with his mother, his bandmates, Yuu’s little sister, Josh and the rest of the You&Jin Japan family who couldn’t tour with him. Each picture brings with it a pleasant memory that makes Jin feel at ease despite the pressure, surrounded by loved ones despite the loneliness.

But the ones he looks at most are the ones with him and Yamapi. There are surprisingly many considering neither one of them is much of a camwhore; something about the two of them together usually inspired some kind of photo opportunity even if it’s just a crooked angle of their stupid faces in the back of a cab, taking shots at the bar, or fake-strangling each other for no apparent reason.

They make him laugh through the sadness, the twist of pain he feels along with the comfort because he misses this so much, just being a normal guy with his normal best friend being free together. He doesn’t for one minute regret the opportunity to break through into American mainstream, representing Japan and Johnny’s and possibly paving the path for future agency acts, but he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t wish that he could have both at once, the fame and the freedom that barely coexisted together when he was still in Japan.

It didn’t really coexist at all, come to think of it, but that was okay as long as he could still hang out with Yamapi. They’re both so busy that they hardly talk, neither one much at keeping up with emails, and Jin’s last visit home was kind of awkward because it had been so long that he had no idea what Yamapi was doing anymore; he looked different and was preoccupied by something work-related and could only see him for a few minutes between appointments.

It hurt but the feeling was echoed in Yamapi’s eyes, the apology evident as he looked longingly at Jin before he had to leave. It’s how Yamapi’s always been – work first, play later. Jin understands that better than anyone.

Someday, Jin tells himself. Someday they will be together again, with minimal commitments and all of the time in the world to just exist in each other’s company. Even if they’re old and fat, it’s okay because it’s the two of them and nothing else will matter.

In the meantime, he has their pictures, and it’s enough to emulate the happiness on his own face just by memory. For now.


End file.
